Dr. Crankypants returns!

DAUGHTER WHO SLEEPS NUDE KEEPS MOM AWAKE AT NIGHT

DEAR ABBY: I started college last fall and moved into a dorm. My roommate and I get along great. She sleeps in the nude. It shocked me at first, but the weather was hot, so I tried it. Now I wouldn't sleep any other way.
Last week, while I was visiting my family, my mother came into my room to wake me. She saw my bare shoulders and correctly assumed I was nude underneath the blankets. You should have seen her reaction! She is now convinced that I am sexually active, which I am not. She thinks my roommate and I must be lesbians. (We're both straight.) She says what I am doing is immoral and un-Christian.

Abby, I am a very religious person. I cannot see how sleeping in the nude is immoral. I don't talk about it or prance around nude. Am I missing something? How can I convince Mother that what I'm doing is really OK? -- FEELING THE HEAT

Dear Feeling:
This is a very serious problem. Please email me immediately to arrange a personal counseling session with me and your roommate. I'll bring the tequila.
--Dr. Crankypants