The Onion | America's Finest News Source%u2122: "Church, State Joyfully Reunite After 230-Year
Trial Separation
WASHINGTON, DC%u2014Following a two-and-a-quarter-century-long trial separation, Church and State reunited in the U.S. Department of Justice press room Monday. 'Even through all the bad times, I knew there had to be a way to get these two old friends back together,' Attorney General John Ashcroft said. 'With a little counseling and faith-based intervention, I knew Church and State would work it out. It was meant to be.' Effective Oct. 15, prayer will be mandatory in public schools and congressional sessions will open with Holy Communion."