JUst for my theater friends:
Late Show Top Ten Archive: May 07, 2002 Top Ten Reasons Your Production Was Not Nominated For A Tony Award

10. "Costumes" consist of items stolen from theater coat check

9. Helicopter appears in climactic scene, but it's not in the script

8. No matter how good it is, a show in your parents' garage is not eligible

7. It's called a "revival" because you're constantly resuscitating audience members

6. Marquee reads, "Tom Arnold Is Napoleon Bonaparte"

5. Instead of "Author! author!" audience shouts, "There he is! Let's get him!"

4. Despite the fact it isn't a musical, your lead actor is constantly breaking into song

3. When curtain rises, it only goes up a couple of feet

2. The big musical number -- "The Tonys Can Kiss My Ass"

1. The name of the production: "Osama Mia"