Dr. Crankypants doesn't get the kind of mail that Ann Landers does. So he steals her letters. (Actual letter to Ann Landers, 8/5/01)

Dear Ann:

I married "Chris" three years ago. His parents live thousands of miles away, and I have yet to meet them. I speak to them on the phone and e-mail them weekly with news and updates.

Here's the problem: My mother-in-law never calls or writes. My father-in-law will sometimes e-mail a letter, but his wife is not involved. She doesn't phone on birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas or any other time. When we call their house, my mother-in-law NEVER gets on the phone. All conversation goes through my father-in-law. He always says she is "busy" and can't come to the phone.

I thought mothers were supposed to care about their children, but my husband's apparently doesn't. I realize the Bible says to honor your parents, but I am bitter about his mother's lack of interest in us. Should I stop calling and e-mailing? Should I tell Chris it is his responsibility to keep in touch with them? I don't understand why his mother is so cold. Any ideas?

-- A Knoxville, Tenn., Wife

Dear AKTW:
Sounds like the perfect low maintenance relationship to me. I just wish all my relatives were too busy to talk on the phone. Leave the poor woman alone.

Send your questions on manners and morals to Dr. Crankypants, America's least helpful advice columnist.